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..How do I even review this? Honestly. Let’s take that story section and just cram it for today. This is Goat Simulator. And it’s certainly..something..
Goat Simulator is parody game, a game who’s sole purpose is to poke fun at the (often buggy) simulator genre, a genre that has quite a following, but not for the reasons that it would prefer. The difference with Goat simulator is that it’s about as far from a realistic Sim game as possible, as you direct your little goat hero across a small town wreaking havoc.
Goat Simulator looks like a glorified tech demo for a physics engine. Little to no effort seems to have been put into the graphics or effects, but in it’s defence, the game holds up pretty well when every asset on screen decides to ignore gravity and fly around your view.
The music is largely unremarkable, but the array of goat noises is certainly interesting. Some of the sounds coming from your Goat’s mouth are downright disturbing.
You know that Insurance Fraud mini-game in the Saint’s Row series? Goat Simulator is pretty much that. You direct your goat across a (woefully) small map, causing as much destruction as possible with no time limit, and no real end goal. This game is literally a chaotic sandbox to mess around in.
The game allows you to lick and grab items with your tongue, buck or kick items and run and jump as well. But without an overarching goal, the novelty of it all wears off fast.
Ok, so there’s not alot to the gameplay, but in it’s defence, Goat Simulator has a small number of Easter Eggs to find, such as the Demon Goat power and the Tall Goat mod, These are mildly entertaining, but at the end of the day, they’re minor modifications on gameplay that get’s stale after 20 minutes.
Don’t buy Goat Simulator. Least of all for the amount that they’re asking. It’s funny for about an hour at it’s best, but that’s all the game has going for it. With no incentive to keep playing beyond “It’s funny, LOLZ”, it get’s old fast, and while it has some neat secrets, there’s nowhere near enough to be worth the price of admission.
I think the worst thing is that Goat Simulator’s cult popularity is already inspiring ripoff’s. Meaning time, effort and money are going from games with potential to bullshit like this. It’s almost flappy bird, all over again.
Dammit Jake… Why’d you have to pick a The Predator?
But seriously, I think this’ll turn out ok.. Maybe.. It’s late. My judgement can’t be trusted..
your face works awesom,e
It’s serves a purpose =P
in that case I should be either Dante or Kamina
Dante works. =P
Dude, I am bevved up, and I definitely want you to drawify me. Do the thing.
So I’m trying to do this thing where I draw myself and some friends as game/geeky characters.. No idea if I have the patience..
I’m bad at this.
Do you ever follow someone and they follow you and you really wanna be friends with them but you feel like you’re bothering them everytime you try to interact with them but they’re just so cool and you’re just like
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